Are single women happier? Let’s highlight some commonly asked questions in this space surrounding single women in their 30’s.
We’ve all been there. On the opposite end of a series of questions used as a way of trying to define you, how could a single woman be happy? It’s just appalling isn’t it. There are many situations in which someone should not be asked certain questions. Being single is not a phenomenon that needs to be uncovered and dissected, and I believe on behalf of every single girl I can say please stop asking us about our love lives.
But if you must, I will refer you to this very article so you can read the answers for yourself.
Is Dating Harder in Your 30’s?
No. I mean, it’s different than when you were in your teenage years or 20’s. Once you reach a certain age you become more aware of what you want, and who you spend your time with.
Is 30 too old for dating?
I’m not sure when dating had an age limit, but no 30 is not to old for dating. Use your 20’s to form relationships with your friends, go to school, and work. Dating get’s better in your 30’s anyways.
Is it Healthy to be Single?
Being single in your 30’s provides a lot of benefits. Less relationship stress, the ability to be more independent, live life on your own terms, focus on yourself and basically do whatever you want. For a lot of people ambiguity is the key to happiness. I love being able to live life on my terms, over the last few years I’ve gotten to know myself better and what I want out of life.
Can You Be Happy Being Single in Your 30’s
Absolutely! So many things bring me joy including working hard towards my career goals, hanging out with friends on the fly, visiting a cafe to have a cup and do some writing, and even creating moments of alone time on weeknights. I’m constantly connected on social media for my job, so it’s really nice to unwind and do things like read or go for a walk to disconnect.
It’s important to note, being with a partner doesn’t equal happiness. You have to be happy with yourself first. It may sound cheesy but it’s true. Take it from someone who’s been in miserable relationships in the past. It drains you more than invigorates you.
Part of being happy being single is to challenge the narrative of what it means to be a single woman in your 30’s. Check out this post that breaks down some stats of single women in North America, and key steps in challenging societies pre-determined to-do list assigned to all women. Challenging the stereotypes associated with singleness is the first step towards change.
Do You Like Being Single?
There are positives and negatives to being single, as well as being in a relationship. We are human beings, therefore we feel the highs and lows of being single just like with anything else. So really, this question serves the person asking more than it does the person being asked. They want to understand you because for whatever reason, being single and happy is a foreign concept to them. Yes I like being single, all the time? No probably not. BUT we don’t like anything 100% all of the time. Yet we’re not being asked about if we like pizza for every meal.
Lastly, I will leave you with the most diabolical question of them all. Although, this seems more like a statement rather than a question.
I Don’t Get It, How Are You Still Single?
You don’t have to “get it” and even though you’re disguising your uncertainty with a compliment, this statement is better left unsaid.
These are only a few questions
So next time someone asks you about your single status remember it’s more about THEM trying to figure you out than anything else, and to be quite frank, it’s none of their business to figure you out.
RELATED: Challenging the Narrative of Being Single in Your 30’s
Professor Paul Dolan, a who works in the Psychological and Behavioural department at the London School of Economics and Science writes
Professor Paul Dolan
He calls this the ‘narrative trap’. This is exactly what we do here, we reframe the narrative of what it means to be a single woman and challenge the stories society tells of her. She is happy and she is thriving.
How is The Life of a Woman Without Marriage
Not being married is fulfilling in ways I don’t think could be while in a relationship. There is more time for friends and family, a focus on career a passion or a side hustle, and the ability to really go out and do whatever you want. it’s freeing in a way that only a really independent person can feel.
It’s also, in a way, exactly the same. Besides the romance believe it or not a single woman’s life is still similar to that of a married woman. Single women have other people in their lives that take up their time that married women don’t have.
Don’t You Want Kids?
The ultimate in inappropriate questions. First of all asking a woman this is not okay, she might not be able to have kids or has lost one and this question could open wounds that don’t need to be opened so you can understand her better. Secondly, women can have kids without a partner! It’s crazy right?
This is a topic i’m going to dive into more in another article, but for now I will leave you with a few stats that I think are important when it comes to women having kids solo.
- According to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, a substantial 12 percent of all IVF cycles in the U.S., about 16,000 a year, involve eggs retrieved from a donor. Now this of course takes into consideration couples trying to conceive as well but a lot of this data includes women choosing solo motherhood.
- Approximately 3,452 women use frozen donor eggs each year, including women choosing solo motherhood.
Data via: CoFretility
Finally, according to CBS the average age of a woman having a child rose from 25 in 1958 to 30 in 2018.
Women are having babies at a later age, science is advancing, and it’s becoming more common to wait until you’re a bit older. Having kids before 30 is not the norm anymore, the numbers speak for themselves.
