Every girl who’s single in her 30’s has experienced the shame of being single in her 30’s. We’ve seen the looks of pity, the questions asking us when are we finally going to meet someone and start a family, aren’t we lonely? Don’t we want someone to share our lives with? I mean the list goes on but basically, what’s wrong with us?
I hate to break it to you concerned society, but there’s nothing wrong with single women, even those in their 30’s.
The only thing wrong with being single are the unsolicited questions about your personal life, so whatever you do STOP listening to the noise. Being single in your 30’s is not a bad thing.
The Percentage of Women Who Are Single
According to Statistica there are 8.48 million single women in Canada.
19% of women aged 30-49 in the USA are single.
There are 26.6 million people on dating apps in the USA.
So what does this mean? Why does society continue to push the narrative that being single is not okay when so many women in North America are single?
According to Psychology Today being married is still a status symbol within society, and people associate being single with negative connotations such as: immaturity, self-centered, unhappy, and lonely. While married people are described as mature, happy, kind, honest, and loving. As you can see one is the polar opposite of the other, one is negative and one is positive. Being single has an underlying theme of failure, and single people need a partner to fit in.
Challenging the Narrative
While this connotation is widely accepted, larger media publications like TIME are fighting back and providing readers with positive reenforcement on being single. In 2018 TIME published an article “9 Ways Being Single Can Improve Your Life”. While the positive spin does help societies pre determined mindset on singleness it’s just one step.
We need to challenge the mindset of the people around us, this is a start to changing the narrative within society, and it means starting with the questions they ask. So if you’re a 30 something being asked about your love life, you’ll want to check out the questions single women are always asked post for a breakdown of frequently asked questions and how they can be challenged, so you can feel more positive about being single and reframe your relationship status to those concerned. This is the first step in your personal growth, an I love being single journey.
RELATED: Questions Single Women Are Always Asked
Gender Norms: Another Narrative to Challenge
We all know women are portrayed as a care-taker, and while taking care of your family is of course something a lot of women take pride in. It doesn’t define you. Unfortunately, modern day doesn’t know what to do with a strong independent woman. She scares society, because how she is is different from the way women have been treated throughout history, and a lot of people don’t know how to classify her.
Being Single in Your 30’s
Now, let’s talk about being single in your 30’s which is, I’m assuming, the reason you clicked on this post in the first place. I’m 34 this year, and believe me I feel the pressures of society now more than ever. I’d say the pressure started around my 30th year.
Here is the infamous checklist of life goals and milestones single 30 something women are required to complete or forever be deemed as a failure.
- Finish school
- Get a good job
- Get married
- Have kids
- Buy your first home
These are HUGE milestones and should never be rushed, nowadays it really doesn’t matter if you have one thing checked off this list, or none. Life isn’t the way it was in the 50’s and women are happy being single and living life on their terms.
So if you’re feeling the anxiety this societal pressure brings just know that a very small portion of the population has actually achieved these milestones, and happiness doesn’t come from checking off these boxes.
Heck, watch Mad Men.
There Are So Many Positives To Being Single in Your 30’s So Don’t Be Worried
Instead of paying so much attention to societies to-do list, consider the following positive aspects to being single in your 30’s.
- Focus on your career
- Figure out what you really want
- Travel
- Meet new people
- Focus on other relationships such as family or friendships
- Build a business, passion, or side hustle
- Save money
- Date with a more mature perspective
The list goes on really, I personally love being able to blog as much as I want without having to worry about not spending enough time with my partner. I’m personally in a business building career phase of my life and I would need to find the right person who could deal with my full schedule.
What it’s Like to Be Single in Your 30’s
It’s wonderful. Do I have moments of doubt? Yes of course, but I’ve also had moments of doubt while being in a relationship. We all have doubts once in awhile, but for me, there are many other incredible positives that have come from being single, such as being able to go out with friends at any given time. On my terms.
Let’s circle back to the beginning of this article for a minute, the most annoying thing about being single are the questions and assumptions. When this happens I remember the things I enjoy doing single that someone in a relationship doesn’t experience. Like the pure joy of having a cup of coffee alone in the morning. I need that, and I know people who would love to have that kind of moment.
So next time someone makes you feel bad about being single remember it’s more about THEM trying to figure you out than anything else, and to be quite frank, it’s none of their business to figure you out.
Looking for Community? Join the Facebook Group!
